This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My life is pants optional.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
