I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
