so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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