i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
