I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
