You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
