Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
