We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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