Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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