I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
