I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
