No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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