i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
two words: eviction party
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
