Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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