is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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