he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
