whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They should really pass out barf bags in church
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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