is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
