my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My vagina is officially offended.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
