The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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