You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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