He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
