I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
