they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
