The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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