is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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