some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
