you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize