You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
