Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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