He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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