Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
