we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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