GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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