i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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