We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
