When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
