woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
