There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
