Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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