Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
