so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
