when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
