So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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