You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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