Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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