I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
