this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
