so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
