The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
